meh.
Today had some ups and downs and middles. It was a busy day, but I feel as though I am constantly running in place these days, which I have tried not to flood my blog with. Those of you close to me will know about most of these things, but I am trying not to bog a lot of my surroundings down with my thoughts as of late. But, today is the day I have to really write about my thoughts and get them out into the world.
I have been unemployed nearly six weeks now. For those of you that don't know, I quit my job at the screenprinter because it was literally killing me. My boss was a bipolar ass that was impossible to reason with. I was getting stomach issues and becoming ill regularly because I was under so much stress over something as stupid as tee shirts. It was after I got my first serious migraine in over a year that I realized it was time to move on.
(Side note: The move to this screenprinter was not exactly planned. The printer I worked at before went out of business. I half expected this to happen, and had talked about this issue with the owner several times, and was assured that the company was going no where. And then, my checks stopped cashing. Yep, they bounced. And I worked 4 weeks there without pay. So, I had to SCRAMBLE to find something, and I took the job at the 'new' place in my weakest moment knowing I had bills to pay, even after being warned about what an ass the owner was. Awesome, right?)
So. I found a new job, and started it. I knew about a week in that it was a terrible idea. The people were pushy. The environment was shady. It wasn't going to work, I needed to move fast to find something new. Easy right? Yeah, that was like 3 days before the news started blasting from mountain tops that our little American boat was sinking, and that everyone should PANIC!!!!!!! because the world as we knew it was ending, the stock market would die, and every company that ever existed was going out of business and everyone will die in the streets. I had secured a lot of interviews and had many solid leads on career opportunities. And I was feeling pretty good.
I had solid freelance jobs coming in. I was paying my bills with ease. I was pinching every penny, I bought NOTHING I didn't absolutely need. Then the ball started to drop. There was a job that was so clearly mine, that I had done everything for, that I had great feeling about, that I had been through FOUR interviews and TWO testing sessions for. They called me last week and said that they loved the piece I designed for them, and would like to meet with me again, except that because of the economy and all, they were closing the position without filling it. This conversation brought me the worst gut feeling I have had in a very, very long time.
I honestly believe I have applied for every single job in the greater city area that I am qualified for. And even some that I'm not completely qualified for. And most of them, bounce back to my inbox as some bullshit work from home scam. Which is so unbelievably frustrating, because it's taking so much of my time to fill out these forms and write all these unique cover letters, individually tailored for each and every position. All that work, and it bounces back as bull shit. Sometimes I want to scream or cry over all this shit. I feel completely helpless, and it's bleeding out into my 'free time.' I spend my entire day applying for every new job that pops up since my 'rounds' the day before. This usually takes every bit of 10 hours. And usually, 90% of those jobs are scam shit. But there is no way to tell. Every job is worded the same. It makes me feel like I should just send the same letters to everyone, but then there is the worry that this could be the job! It could be it, don't waste your chance!
It's stressful and I always feel like I'm not doing enough to find something. Even so, there are only so many new postings a day. I have never felt so helpless in my life.
So people - cross your fingers for me. Send good thoughts my way. Suggest something that has worked for you or those around you. Anything. I'm really, really struggling to stay with it here. I don't want this to turn into the blog of what happens to someone as they fall into an especially unhappy time in their lives. Because that is not me. But it sure seems to be that way here lately.
Help.
Comments
fingers and toes all crossed
Hard times here as well. My oldest daughter has been looking for work for months and months now. She has casual work in retail but hates it and has uncertain hours each week. She applies for every job that comes along and sends letters to places that aren't advertising but no luck. And I find it really annoying that she gets knocked back on most of them without even getting an interview. How can they really judge people without meeting them face to face. Frustrating.
Hope you find something soon, DS. Would you consider setting up your own business or using the time to diversify your skills, eg, into a related area? Or even taking on some kind of menial stop gap work just for the time being. A friend of mine starting diong house cleaning because she was unable to work in her main field for a while (hours not compatible with parenthood) and is now running her own cleaning business employing several people.
My husband has had periods of unemployment so I know how dispiriting it can get.